Post 26: Running is for emergencies only

          Running is for emergencies only. You will not likely catch me running unless there is one or more of the following:

A) Fire

B) Flood

C) Yeti

D) Groundbreaking, flawless research that says running will give me the body I want, and help me keep it

          This isn't to say that you shouldn't run, but there are effective ways to do it. If you can't answer someone who asks "why are you running?" Maybe it's time to think about it. One of the most entertaining people at my gym spends probably between 25-40 minutes daily on the cardio equipment, and (if I'm late getting there) part two of his workout doing what I will admit is an impressive number of variations on the bicep curl. While working on your biceps is kind of an idiot move in itself, doing some extended sub-maximal cardio work is just adding insult to injury. Like chasing your tail. It gives you something to do for a while, but you don't get anywhere. 

          I'm not a vet, or a dog, or sure if that's an accurate statistic, but I'd heed that advice. Similarly, I would be curious why all my time doing cardio and bicep curls doesn't make me look any less like gumby. The way I see it, cardio equipment is like Nike to the lay consumer. Everyone else does it, and since I don't know any better, I "just do it."

          It's very characteristic of human nature to see everything as a cause & effect relationship. What I mean by this is that when women see the little 100 pound blonde hammering the treadmill or elliptical for an hour a day, they assume that they will get the same results. The cardio machines will make my butt look better because the girls on the cardio machines have nice butts. Well, the other 5 days a week that you're not there, they're probably banging out some form of hip extensions.

          While these things can provide motivation for some, it could be of use to channel some of that energy into the dumbbell or squat rack areas. So without further ado, these are the top rationale I've heard regarding why people do cardio:

1. To burn fat
2. To stay healthy
3. To sweat out the booze

          Reason #1 is a classic. To burn fat. Nice. This is a likely outcome for someone who sweats when they think about exercising. Even then, they probably have some pretty unsightly movement patterns that could get them hurt just trying to turn on a treadmill. If you're in decent shape, and interested in getting bigger and/or leaner, I would avoid long slow cardio. A better alternative would be some circuits, or an effective resistance program. If you're still dying to rack up some mileage, do some sprints. In addition, (this applies to reason #2 as well) you will experience difficulty achieving lean mass gains, and even regressions, or muscle atrophy, if you have low body fat to start with, or lack an accommodating diet. This is due to the body's mechanism of minimizing losses vs. maximizing gains in the protein synthesis department. Not to mention a noteworthy detrimental effect in your fast twitch fibers. These are skinny-fat people, they look healthy, but they feel like pudding. Like Richard Simmons - I've never touched Rich but I have a feeling about what to expect.

Actually a Richard Simmons imposter, I'm good without slander suits.

          Reason #2, staying healthy. There's actually a good amount of research to the contrary. Increased oxidative stress and elevated cortisol levels can lead to inflammatory responses and actual damage to the tissues. High amounts of oxidative stress has been linked to cancers, heart attacks, and parkinson's. If you need any more examples, you should seek help elsewhere. Not to mention, in high doses overtraining symptoms like elevated resting heart rates, nervousness, anxiety and the likes are also characteristic of people who are hooked on chronic cardio routines. 

           Reason #3, if you're over the age of 20, and you drank a LOT. My advice would be to turn the lights off, drink some water, and try again tomorrow. Unless you like whopper headaches, cold sweats, hot flashes, and vertigo.

          These are only a few of the reasons I'm not into running. Well, long slow running anyways. Sprinting and interval training are a great way to get your cardio in without really inhibiting your gains. Lean muscle chews up more fat than cardio, every day of the week. That's not just my opinion.

-Alex